Michael Roberson is a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse

Julia Bacolas' narcissistic abuse started in 1987, when she duped Michael Robertson into a marriage from an unwanted pregnancy with his first child, then she continued an inappropriate relationship with Dave Berry, an older married man, until 1990.

https://juliebacolas.com/julie-bacolas-sociopath

From 1990 until 1998, Julia Bacolas neglected her children and family, continued inappropriate relationships with other men, neglected her children, continued an unabated crystal meth amphetamine addiction, exposed her youngest daughter to sexual abuse, and ultimately abandoned her own children for nine years.

https://michaelbacolas.com/julia-bacolas

In 2009, Julie Bacolas returned to the family with the intent of conducting a menticide and brainwashing of her adolescent children, causing the expression of severe mental illness with these victims. 

https://juliebacolas.com/menticide

Julie orchestrated a smear campaign against Michael Robertson, which culminated in 2020 with her interjection and her flying monkeys into a dependency matter with his two minor children from a second marriage, leading to Michael Robertson losing custody of his family, from the inflammatory and bizarre smear campaign and defamation of his character, before the courts and the community he serves.

https://juliebacolas.com/narcissist-smear-campaign

This content is for the parties who are its subject matter. When dealing with malignant narcissism, the perpetrators must be faced with the truth of their conduct, for proper mental health awareness and healing can take place with the perpetrators of such abuse. The secondary reason for this content is to repair the reputation of Michael Robertson, grossly destroyed by these malicious attacks against his person and character by these perpetrators. And finally, the content is used as a case study in the treatment of other survivors of narcissistic abuse.   

In 2009, Julia Bacolas conducted a menticide against her severely mentally ill (SMI) children from her first marriage, dually diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  Her children were already symptomatic of mental illness, due to the hereditary dispositions of Julia Bacolas, whose malignant genetic NPD was already heavily documented at the end of her marriage and during the divorce and custody proceedings in 1998. 

This website is a case study of a Machiavellian malignant narcissist and her NPD heredity which was passed to her children, with case studies of each SMI individual in support of this thesis. This study is a conclusion of Michael Robertson's unfinished Master's Thesis, "Accelerating Children's Cognitive Development." The conclusion is apparent: Children who are prescreened in early cognitive testing with brain abnormalities of cognitive, language, and developmental dysfunction should not have their cognitive development accelerated, as those early childhood screenings of cognitive retardation are indicative of abnormal brain development, which are cognitive markers for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Children who are identified in early childhood cognitive screenings for NPD should not have their cognitive development accelerated, as it produces adults with higher levels of criminal and malignant reasoning, and exasperates their hereditary dispositions for the expression of severe mental illness as adults.

These conclusions do not imply children with developmental cognitive delays as markers for NPD should not receive special needs services to become adaptive children. These conclusions support the premise that beyond special needs interventions, NPD children should not have their cognitive development accelerated to gifted and genius levels, as individuals suffering from this disorder have areas of the brain with abnormalities in the expression of emotional and cognitive empathy. Therefore, accelerating children to a gifted level of intelligence with an absence, or low, cognitive function for empathy, has the deleterious effect of creating adult individuals with hyper criminality and malignancy with the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

This content is for the parties who are its subject matter. When dealing with malignant narcissism, the perpetrators must be faced with the truth of their conduct, for proper mental health awareness and healing can take place with the perpetrators of such abuse. The secondary reason for this content is to repair the reputation of Michael Robertson, grossly destroyed by these malicious attacks against his person and character by these perpetrators. And finally, the content is used as a case study in the treatment of other survivors of narcissistic abuse.   

Michael Robertson is a survivor of narcissistic abuse by a Machiavellian malignant narcissist and her flying monkeys. Below explains narcissistic abuse and how to survive it....

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition that typically involves:

• low empathy
• a grandiose or inflated sense of self
• an extreme need for admiration and attention
• 
  

People with NPD or narcissistic tendencies sometimes show a pattern of manipulative, controlling behavior that involves both verbal abuse and emotional manipulation. This all falls under the umbrella of narcissistic abuse. 

These tactics can confuse you, make you question your sense of reality, and damage your self-esteem.

Narcissistic  victim syndrome is a term that collectively describes these specific  and often severe effects of narcissistic abuse. While it’s not a  recognized mental health condition, many experts acknowledge  narcissistic abuse can have a serious, long lasting impact on emotional  health. 

Keep in mind that abuse and narcissism aren’t always related. A diagnosis of NPD doesn’t  automatically translate to abusive behavior and many people who engage  in abuse don’t have NPD.

Regardless, a mental health diagnosis never excuses abusive behavior. People choose to abuse and manipulate others, and it’s possible to live with traits  of narcissism, or any personality disorder, without becoming abusive.

With that in mind, here are 12 signs that might suggest you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse.

Narcissistic  abuse tends to follow a clear pattern, though this pattern might look a  little different depending on the type of relationship.

In a romantic relationship, research from 2019 suggests, this abuse typically begins slowly, after you’ve fallen hard and fast.

It’s no wonder you fell for them. During the love-bombing phase, they seemed loving, kind, and generous. They made you feel  special and adored with gushy compliments, affectionate displays, and  expensive gifts. 

This early stage might have felt so intense and overwhelming you never stopped to consider whether they might be too fantastic. Then slowly, negging or other manipulative tactics began to replace the gifts and declarations of love. 

Narcissistic  parents might also offer love, adoration, praise, and financial support  until you do something to displease them and lose their favor. Then  they, too, often turn to tactics like negging, silent treatment, and gaslighting. 

Narcissistic  abuse is often subtle. When it happens in public, it might be so well  disguised that others hear or see the same behaviors and fail to  recognize them as abuse. 

You might not even fully understand  what’s happening. You only know you feel confused, upset, or even guilty  for your “mistakes.” 

A narcissistic parent might gently say,  “Are you sure you want to eat dessert?” Or they might turn a broken dish  into a joke at your expense: “You’re so clumsy. You just can’t help  yourself, can you?” They laugh with everyone in the room while patting  your shoulder to make the insult seem well intentioned. 

You  would hope friends and loved ones believe you, but unfortunately, this  doesn’t always happen. Your loved ones might not doubt your belief you  were abused, but they might question your perception of events or  assure you, “You must have misunderstood them. They’d never hurt you  intentionally.” 

This doubt can be doubly harming.  Not only does it dismantle your faith in your loved ones, it can lead  you to wonder whether the abuse took place after all. Maybe you did read  too much into their words or imagine that look on their face. 

People  with narcissistic traits often need to maintain their image of  perfection in order to keep earning admiration from others. To do this,  they may try making you look bad. 

Once you begin pointing out problems or questioning their behavior, they might lash out by:

• openly directing their rage toward you with insults and threats
• involving others in criticizing you

By  telling your loved ones stories that twist the facts about your  “harmful” or “unstable” behavior, the narcissist tries to discredit you.  Even worse, when you react angrily (who wouldn’t?), they can use your  response to back up their lies.

People with narcissism often have a  knack for charming others. That persona they showed you in the  beginning? Everyone else sees that still. 

They can often win  support from your loved ones (who haven’t seen through the facade) by  insisting they only have your best interests at heart. Then, when you  try explaining the abuse, your loved ones might side with them. 

When  your loved ones won’t listen to you, you probably feel pretty alone.  This leaves you vulnerable to further manipulation. The person abusing  you may pull you back in with kindness, even apologies, or by pretending  the abuse never happened. 

This tactic, known as hoovering,  often works better when you lack support. You’re more likely to doubt  your perceptions of the abuse when you can’t talk to anyone about it. 

If  your loved ones reach out to say you’ve made a mistake and encourage  you to give the abusive partner another chance, you might end up doing  so simply to regain that connection with them. 

People respond to abuse and other trauma in different ways.

You  might attempt to confront the abusive person (fight) or escape the  situation (flight). If these methods don’t work or you feel unable to  use them, you might respond by freezing instead. 

The freeze response usually happens when you feel helpless. It often involves dissociation,  since emotionally distancing yourself from the abuse can help decrease  its intensity, effectively numbing some of the pain and distress you  experience. 

While freezing can have some benefit in certain situations, it doesn’t help much when you can escape from danger. 

If  you believe there’s no way out of the relationship, you might remain in  it instead of seeking support to help you leave safely — more on this  in a moment. 

A pattern of devaluation and criticism can leave you with very little self-esteem and confidence.

Narcissistic  abuse often involves frequent implications that you make bad decisions  and can’t do anything right. An abusive partner may even call you stupid  or ignorant outright, though they might insult you with a falsely  affectionate tone: “Honey, you’re so dumb. How would you manage without  my help?”

Over time, you might start absorbing these insults and  attaching them to your self-perception, constantly second-guessing  yourself as a result. 

Gaslighting tactics can also make you doubt your decision-making abilities. 

If  someone manipulates you into believing you imagined things that  actually took place, you might continue doubting your perception of  events. This uncertainty can affect your ability to make decisions well  into the future. 

A key characteristic of narcissism is difficulty taking responsibility for any negative actions or harmful behavior. 

Abusive partners typically find some way to cast blame on you instead. They might accomplish this through deceit, often by: 

• insisting they said something you have no recollection of
• getting so angry you end up soothing them by apologizing and agreeing you were wrong. 

Say you suspect they’ve cheated on you. You explain the concerning behaviors you’ve noticed and ask if something’s going on.

They respond with extreme anger: 

“How  dare you doubt my loyalty, after I show you again and again how much I  love you? How would you even know I’ve had phone calls from someone?  You’ve been snooping through my things. Obviously you don’t care about  me at all. You’re so disengaged, you don’t even enjoy having sex. If I were having an affair, it would be because you’re so boring in bed.” 

These  barrages of rage can leave you feeling helpless and dependent, grateful  they’re willing to remain with someone who makes so many mistakes. 

Even  after leaving the relationship, you might carry forward the belief you  can’t do anything right. When things go wrong in other areas of life,  you might struggle to accept that you didn’t cause those problems. 

Abuse can trigger anxious and nervous feelings that sometimes lead to physical symptoms. 

You might notice:

• appetite changes
• upset stomach or nausea
• stomach pain and other gastrointestinal distress
• muscle aches and pains
• insomnia
• fatigue

Using alcohol and other substances can sometimes seem like a helpful way to manage  these symptoms, especially insomnia. As a result, you might end up  consuming more than you’d like in an effort to manage unwanted feelings or physical distress. 

Narcissistic  abuse can sometimes be unpredictable. You may not know whether they’re  going to criticize you or surprise you with a gift. 

If you don’t  know what someone will do or say at any given moment, you might develop a  lot of tension from needing to regularly prepare yourself to face  conflict. 

Worries about the constant stream of criticism and how  to best handle the abusive behaviors you’re beginning to recognize can  also leave you constantly on edge. You may not know how to relax anymore. It might even feel unsafe to let your guard down. 

When facing abuse, many people eventually adjust their self-identity to accommodate an abusive partner. 

Say  your partner insists, “When you go out with your friends, you’re  telling me you don’t love me. You’d rather see them instead.” 

Of  course you love them, so you stop going out with your friends. Next, you  give up your hobbies, skip after-work drinks with co-workers, and  eventually cancel your weekly visit with your sister. You spend time  doing what your partner wants to do, so they know you really do care. 

These changes often lead to a loss of your sense of self, which can leave you feeling lost and empty. You might have a hard time enjoying life and lose sight of your sense of purpose. 

Someone  engaging in narcissistic abuse often has little respect for boundaries.  When you try to set or enforce limits, they might challenge them,  completely ignore them, or give you the silent treatment until you do  what they want. Eventually, you might give up on your boundaries entirely.

Once  you end the relationship or get distance from a narcissistic parent,  you promise yourself you won’t answer their calls and texts or see them  at all. 

If they know they can eventually wear you down, though,  they might not let you go easily. Instead, they’ll keep calling and  texting in the hopes of getting you to set aside your boundaries again. 

If  you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you might also have trouble  setting healthy boundaries in your relationships with others. 

Anxiety and depression commonly develop as a result of narcissistic abuse. 

The  significant stress you face can trigger persistent feelings of worry,  nervousness, and fear, especially when you never know what to expect  from their behavior. 

You might feel hopeless or worthless, lose  interest in things that used to bring you joy, and struggle to see any  more hopeful outcomes for the future.

It’s also common to have a  lot of confusion over what caused them to change so abruptly, especially  if you don’t know much about narcissism. 

You might shoulder the  blame for the abuse, perhaps believing their accusations that you must  not care about them enough or blaming yourself for falling for their  deception in the first place.

 Either can add to feelings of  worthlessness and further diminish self-esteem. 

Any kind of abuse can take a significant toll on emotional and physical health. If your loved ones still doubt you or  tell you to just move on, you may feel unheard and unsupported. This  can make it hard to trust people again, leaving you feeling isolated and alone. 

Whether  you’re just beginning to notice the first signs of narcissistic abuse  or still trying to make sense of a relationship you’ve already left,  therapy can help you begin to heal. 

Therapy offers a safe space to:

• learn coping strategies to manage mental health symptoms
• practice setting healthy boundaries in relationships
• explore ways to rebuild your sense of self
• 
  

A  therapist who specializes in abuse recovery can validate your  experience, help you understand that you aren’t at fault, and offer  support through the early stages of recovery.

You can also get emergency support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

For free, confidential help:

• Call 800-799-7233.
• Text LOVEIS to 866-331-9474.
• Chat online.

Crystal  Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy.  Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese  translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental  health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around  mental health issues.